Just Why?

There were smiles, laughter, fun, frolic everywhere around me but I was not a part of it, Why?

There was love, passion, romance everywhere around me but I was not a part of it, Why?

There were friends, foes, families everywhere around me but I was not a part of it, Why?

There was celebration, music, dance everywhere around me but I was not a part of it, Why?

I was there but yet not seen, Why?

I was there but yet not felt, Why?

In the crowd of thousands only you knew I was there, Why?

You always know me, Why?

The tears behind my smile only you see, Why?

Transforming my smile into laughter, only you do, Why?

I try to understand everybody, but you understand me, Why?

I fought for the world, but only you fought for me, Why?

On my success you patted my back, Why?

On my failures you held my tears, Why?

In my hard work you pushed me ahead, Why?

On my fall back you held me tight, Why?

The world claimed to be by my side, but you quietly walked behind, Why?

Friends were many, but only you who understood the need, Why?

It is true when people say we were connected, Why?

Much time has not passed since we knew each other, but still you know me more than myself, Why?

Hard times, fun times, sad times, happy times, you were always there, Why?

I don’t know how I was as a friend to you, but you are the definition of friendship to me, Why?

There is only one answer to all my Whys?

You.

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The Swing (Contd...)

All my life I have tried to figure out my path, but never thought that a path is not the one which we make, rather a path is the one on which we move ahead. I did not move ahead, or should I say, I could not move ahead. I do not preach to be a philosopher, but people presume me to be one. When a person can themselves not figure out their life, how can they preach about giving directions to others in life? People have a problem with this thinking of mine. My thoughts and views are my companion; I never push them on others. I do not ask people to agree with me or to accept my views. I guess sometimes silence is also taken for stubbornness rather than submission.

            The more we try to pull the string the weaker it gets and ultimately it breaks one day. My relationships were also strings which I tried to pull but ultimately they broke. It did hurt. I too have a heart. I too have emotions and feelings. I felt pain. Sitting on my swing, with my bleeding heart and rolling tears, I felt pain. But then my swing taught me again. With each movement on the swing, the wind brushed my tears away. With each wind my bleeding heart was easing out. With each wind I was feeling free. It was then that I realized that nobody deserves my tears, none of my relationships were so important on which I should shed my tears and bleed my heart.

            People say that human beings are social animals; we play many roles in our life. The role of daughter or son, the role of brother or sister, the role of parents, the role of a friend, the role of a life partner, the role of a companion and it goes on. With each passing moment of our life, our roles keep changing. Our elders say that it is important to respect each of our relationships and make efforts to make it work. I have a different perspective. We come in this world alone and we leave alone, none of our relations follow. Relationships are mutual and it is the responsibility of both the people to make it work. Are those relationships really worth retaining if one has to make efforts to make it work? A relationship works with mutual trust and love. A relationship should be effortless. But on my thoughts people criticize me. But they can’t give me even one reason as to why my thoughts are not correct, or in their terms socially acceptable.

            In my life only one relationship has been effortless for me that is, the one between my swing and me. No demands, no expectations, and no complain simple and plain friendship and understanding. My swing has been my friend, my mentor, and my companion and my soul mate. My deepest feelings and secrets, I share with my swing. My grief and pain I share with my swing. My success and joy I shared with my swing. Do I need any more relationships now? When life can be simple then why do we want to complex it further unnecessarily.

(More to come...) 

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The Swing

(This is my first attempt at writing a story. I wanted to share it and get your views and feedback. However this post comes with a twist.)

            When that cool breeze touches my face, when the wind plays with my hair, when with each stamp of my leg I fly higher and higher, I feel like a bird. I wander around in thoughts and gaze outside at the wide landscape beautified by the pouring rain. As the raindrops fall harder, my pace increases. I feel the freedom. I feel the sky. I feel the nature. Sitting in my veranda I was flying higher and higher on my favorite wooden carved swing. My swing has been my companion in all these years of loneliness. Every time it makes me feel younger, stronger, independent and more confident of myself. My swing is my best friend, knows all my thoughts and secrets. It has shared my joy, and shed tears in my sorrow, felt my pain and became proud on my success. All these years it’s only been my swing and me, walking on the path of life hand in hand, being the support for each other.

            I often wonder how strange my relationship with my swing is. Sometimes it’s harder to be around with people and so we resort to the lifeless objects around us. I needed someone who could be a good listener. Not someone who would have an opinion on all my thoughts or someone who questions my actions and decisions. That is one of the reasons that I have no other relation left in my life now. Relationships to me were like those tight ropes tied around my neck, tangling me deeper and deeper. But I finally feel so free.

            This swing has been the metaphor of my life, whenever alone it is on a standstill and whenever someone comes, it sways to and fro. It has been a source of my inspiration, I have learnt a lot from it. It has entangled me from the tangles of my complex relationships and failed responsibilities. It freed me from my tags and labels. In my life people came and went by but I was there standing where I had been all the years, on a standstill. I was always there, but nobody wanted to wait. I didn’t want to be the part of this big race. I want to wait and see. I want to wait and think. I want to wait and enjoy. My swing taught me this. There is no point in trying to find ways to mend the past, nor to envision the future. The real life is to live the present.

            Failed relationships and broken hearts was all I got. But the smile to me was given by my swing. Looks are deceptive. Today I know why. When I saw my swing for the first time it seemed to me lifeless but yet alive. It seemed to be dull but yet bright. It was kept amongst the pile of old rotted things but still stood out in the crowd. In that first moment we connected. People told me I was crazy to buy that swing. They wouldn’t have said so if they knew I was buying happiness and life. Life would have been easier for me if people were also like these lifeless objects that I could sell away once its value in my life was over. Had life been that simple it wouldn’t be called life.

(More yet to come...)

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An Ode to the Mentors in My Life!

When we came to this world there was someone who held our hand and led us towards the path of life. We are so used to this support that we tend to depend on someone at each stage of our life. However I would not see this as being dependent on someone. I think in life we all need someone to guide us, someone who can mentor us, someone who can hold our hand and lead us, someone we know would be there to hold us if we fall. We all need a mentor in life.

I think a role that a mentor plays in our life is beyond description. In our life we come across different mentors at each stage of our life. Sometimes one mentor can change your perception towards life. What should I say? I have been very lucky to have many mentors in my life!

Today I write this post for the two most special mentors in my life, one who came when I entered the world of education. She was my school teacher. She was the one who taught me the way to see life optimistically. She was the one who taught me how to work hard, how to be trust one’s own self, how to not get scared from challenges but face them with a smile. She nurtured me into a person who was confident to make mistakes and learn from it. I think the learning I have got from her has always helped me choose the right path and I have always succeeded. Even though it has been 3 years since I left school, she has always been there with me.

After school, college came like a shock to me. It was almost like a culture shock for me! But I guess it was then that I understood the meaning of perception in its true sense. In the midst of this confusion I spent two years, but finally found a mentor. He was my college professor. The one who always appreciated my efforts and hard work, who gave me opportunities and the space to utilize those opportunities to its optimum. He was the one who supported my thoughts, he made me believe that I had the potential to lead; he made me believe that I had the potential to excel. He came like that silver lining on a dark cloud. He has helped me grow. He shared my joy, was proud on my success and supported when I failed.

Thank you would be too small words to gratify their presence in my life. I know that wherever I go and whatever I do they will always be there to guide me! This was an Ode to my Mentors!

There is one very important mentor in my life but I guess that secret will have to wait to be revealed!! 

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Love: Freedom Or Possession

 How do we define love? It is a strange question isn’t it! The answer to this cannot be expressed in words. Is love a feeling, an emotion, or just a term used to define any relationship? Well there is no definition of love. I can only say that it is an active part of our life. We never experience any feeling or emotion as strongly as we experience love. Love can be in any form. The love for our parents, love for our friends, love for our god or the most commercialised love for our life partner.

There must be a question on your mind that why I am again discussing love and relationship. Well, one topic can looked upon from various angles and secondly this topic is the one that has been widely discussed and debated on. But in this post I do not want to write about what is right or wrong in love or in a relationship.

When we talk about love do we ever ask ourselves this question: ‘Is love about giving space and freedom to each other or is love about being possessive about each other?’ This question may sound blunt and reading this we all tend to answer that love is about giving space and freedom to each other. But when we look deep down do we actually give space and freedom to each other in love?

Our love with our parents, do we give space to each other? If yes, then why do say that there exists a generation gap between us and our parents? Why do we tell our parents “You people will never understand how we kids feel? Why do our parents tell us “You are no matured enough to do this!”? We question our parents and our parents question us. Then how are we giving space and freedom to each other.

Our love with our friends, do we give space to each other? If yes, then why do we feel bad when our best friend goes and talks to some other person? Or our best friend does not share a secret with us? Isn’t this known as the possession for each other?

Our love with our life partner, do we give space to each other? I am not experienced enough to comment on this but from looking at the people around me I can say this. If we do give space then why is it that today divorce has become so common? And the common statement each couple gives after divorce is “We were not compatible for each other!” At one instance you are compatible with each other and at the very next moment you are not compatible with each other?

There are many questions but no definite answer. Love is within us, it is an emotion we feel from our heart. Whether love is about freedom or possession? I don’t know! But maybe you do! The only way I could find to end this post was by saying this beautiful line…

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.”

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Why no Siblings? Is a Question Often Asked

So many people keep asking me do I like being a single child or not? They ask me don’t I feel lonely without any sibling. Well I don’t. Being a single child has its own pros and cons. On one side all the pampering and love is showered and on other hand, rules are also many and stricter discipline. Demands are fulfilled easily but expectations are higher.

It’s not that I never wanted siblings, not that it was my choice either! But when I was young I was scared to share the love of my parents with any other person. May be I was too young to understand, but I use to always tell my parents that I don’t want any siblings. I guess somewhere down the line, I still have not got over that fear.

Now that I have grown up all I tell my parents is that I wouldn’t mind siblings, but my only condition is if I have an elder brother or sister. I want to be the young one, and not the elder one. I want to be the crazy young pampered child and not the mature, understanding and disciplined elder. It is quite strange how I have evolved in terms of a person who has got such diversity in thoughts on this matter.

Single child or having siblings is not very much a topic of discussion I understand. But it is very interesting to know how we all have different views on having siblings! Some like it and some don’t. But I think there is lot more to it than meets the eye!

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IT’s END OF THE WORLD WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP

Why do people think that if we are not committed to someone in a relationship our lives are dull? Why is it so necessary to have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Are they the means to existence? These are the questions that frequently come in the minds of singles, especially those surrounded by complicated relationship examples of their friends.

In the past so many people have come up to me and asked me whether I was committed or not, when I responded “NO”, they let out a big sigh “Ahhh…” and they would look at me with pity in their eyes.  There looks express that I am living a dull and boring life. Well to all those people who think like this I would say a big “NO”! 

I think that being in a relationship makes your life complicated and what we see in movies and read in Mills and Boons, hardly ever happens in reality. All the girls who think that one day a handsome guy will come riding on a white horse, like their Knight in Shining Armor, to them I would like to say Ladies please wake up, this is far from reality. At this young age we talk about true love. Love has now become so commercialized and casual that the true essence of this word has been lost.

Today anybody and everybody talks about true love. Just because your relationship has survived for more than a year does not make this true love. Words like commitment, faith, trust has all lost its meaning and have become casual words like “hi” and “what’s up”. Love is now put up on sale. Books are written on the various “How to” about relationships. But can we fall in love or maintain a relationship by reading a book? Is it really that simple?

I am not saying that true love does not exist nor am I saying that falling in love is bad. All I am saying is that love has become so overrated. People have lost faith in this charming and enchanting word. This is not anyone’s fault, there are various factors that have led to this situation today, from TV daily soaps, to reality shows, to movies, to books everywhere all you see is love stories. These stories just fascinate you and attract you, but they hold no value in reality.

We have forgotten the difference between love and infatuation, love and friendship, love and attraction. Whenever a girl or boy are seen chatting together why is it that the first question that pops in our mind is “Are they committed to each other?” Why do we presume these things, they can just be friends or they might even be siblings, for all you know. But we wouldn’t ever think about the logical side of this. We would always look at it from the so called “love angle”.

This happens not on our will. We never think before making statements like this, or making presumption about any two people. This happens due to our surroundings, what we see, what we read, what we hear, we subconsciously try to make it factual. This is also one of the reasons for short-lived relationships, I mean how long can you expect your boyfriend to treat you like a princess and give you gifts everyday or how long can you expect your girlfriend to be all head over heels for you. It’s time for a reality check.

There are some relationships that have worked, some which have not. There are some relations that have a future, some whose future is blank. There are some relations which are based on trust, understanding and mutual attraction, some are just for show-off.  It isn’t true there all relationships are mere pomp and show, some relationships are genuine, and I have been fortunate to see both the kinds of relationships in my close friend circle. When I look at some relationships I really wonder what the meaning of love or relationship for them is.

We all simply ignore the fact that love is not a term only given to the mutual liking and attraction between two people of opposite gender. Love can be of various forms. Isn’t it love, the feeling we have for our parents? Isn’t it love, the proximity and closeness we share with our brothers & sisters? Isn’t it love, the dedication and trust we have on our god?

Love is indeed the most beautiful feeling that mankind can experience, although it’s losing its charm. It will never lose its charm when you will genuinely fall in love with that perfect person made for you. Something like the match made in heaven. 

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