An Ode to the Mentors in My Life!

When we came to this world there was someone who held our hand and led us towards the path of life. We are so used to this support that we tend to depend on someone at each stage of our life. However I would not see this as being dependent on someone. I think in life we all need someone to guide us, someone who can mentor us, someone who can hold our hand and lead us, someone we know would be there to hold us if we fall. We all need a mentor in life.

I think a role that a mentor plays in our life is beyond description. In our life we come across different mentors at each stage of our life. Sometimes one mentor can change your perception towards life. What should I say? I have been very lucky to have many mentors in my life!

Today I write this post for the two most special mentors in my life, one who came when I entered the world of education. She was my school teacher. She was the one who taught me the way to see life optimistically. She was the one who taught me how to work hard, how to be trust one’s own self, how to not get scared from challenges but face them with a smile. She nurtured me into a person who was confident to make mistakes and learn from it. I think the learning I have got from her has always helped me choose the right path and I have always succeeded. Even though it has been 3 years since I left school, she has always been there with me.

After school, college came like a shock to me. It was almost like a culture shock for me! But I guess it was then that I understood the meaning of perception in its true sense. In the midst of this confusion I spent two years, but finally found a mentor. He was my college professor. The one who always appreciated my efforts and hard work, who gave me opportunities and the space to utilize those opportunities to its optimum. He was the one who supported my thoughts, he made me believe that I had the potential to lead; he made me believe that I had the potential to excel. He came like that silver lining on a dark cloud. He has helped me grow. He shared my joy, was proud on my success and supported when I failed.

Thank you would be too small words to gratify their presence in my life. I know that wherever I go and whatever I do they will always be there to guide me! This was an Ode to my Mentors!

There is one very important mentor in my life but I guess that secret will have to wait to be revealed!! 

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Love: Freedom Or Possession

 How do we define love? It is a strange question isn’t it! The answer to this cannot be expressed in words. Is love a feeling, an emotion, or just a term used to define any relationship? Well there is no definition of love. I can only say that it is an active part of our life. We never experience any feeling or emotion as strongly as we experience love. Love can be in any form. The love for our parents, love for our friends, love for our god or the most commercialised love for our life partner.

There must be a question on your mind that why I am again discussing love and relationship. Well, one topic can looked upon from various angles and secondly this topic is the one that has been widely discussed and debated on. But in this post I do not want to write about what is right or wrong in love or in a relationship.

When we talk about love do we ever ask ourselves this question: ‘Is love about giving space and freedom to each other or is love about being possessive about each other?’ This question may sound blunt and reading this we all tend to answer that love is about giving space and freedom to each other. But when we look deep down do we actually give space and freedom to each other in love?

Our love with our parents, do we give space to each other? If yes, then why do say that there exists a generation gap between us and our parents? Why do we tell our parents “You people will never understand how we kids feel? Why do our parents tell us “You are no matured enough to do this!”? We question our parents and our parents question us. Then how are we giving space and freedom to each other.

Our love with our friends, do we give space to each other? If yes, then why do we feel bad when our best friend goes and talks to some other person? Or our best friend does not share a secret with us? Isn’t this known as the possession for each other?

Our love with our life partner, do we give space to each other? I am not experienced enough to comment on this but from looking at the people around me I can say this. If we do give space then why is it that today divorce has become so common? And the common statement each couple gives after divorce is “We were not compatible for each other!” At one instance you are compatible with each other and at the very next moment you are not compatible with each other?

There are many questions but no definite answer. Love is within us, it is an emotion we feel from our heart. Whether love is about freedom or possession? I don’t know! But maybe you do! The only way I could find to end this post was by saying this beautiful line…

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.”

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Why no Siblings? Is a Question Often Asked

So many people keep asking me do I like being a single child or not? They ask me don’t I feel lonely without any sibling. Well I don’t. Being a single child has its own pros and cons. On one side all the pampering and love is showered and on other hand, rules are also many and stricter discipline. Demands are fulfilled easily but expectations are higher.

It’s not that I never wanted siblings, not that it was my choice either! But when I was young I was scared to share the love of my parents with any other person. May be I was too young to understand, but I use to always tell my parents that I don’t want any siblings. I guess somewhere down the line, I still have not got over that fear.

Now that I have grown up all I tell my parents is that I wouldn’t mind siblings, but my only condition is if I have an elder brother or sister. I want to be the young one, and not the elder one. I want to be the crazy young pampered child and not the mature, understanding and disciplined elder. It is quite strange how I have evolved in terms of a person who has got such diversity in thoughts on this matter.

Single child or having siblings is not very much a topic of discussion I understand. But it is very interesting to know how we all have different views on having siblings! Some like it and some don’t. But I think there is lot more to it than meets the eye!

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IT’s END OF THE WORLD WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP

Why do people think that if we are not committed to someone in a relationship our lives are dull? Why is it so necessary to have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Are they the means to existence? These are the questions that frequently come in the minds of singles, especially those surrounded by complicated relationship examples of their friends.

In the past so many people have come up to me and asked me whether I was committed or not, when I responded “NO”, they let out a big sigh “Ahhh…” and they would look at me with pity in their eyes.  There looks express that I am living a dull and boring life. Well to all those people who think like this I would say a big “NO”! 

I think that being in a relationship makes your life complicated and what we see in movies and read in Mills and Boons, hardly ever happens in reality. All the girls who think that one day a handsome guy will come riding on a white horse, like their Knight in Shining Armor, to them I would like to say Ladies please wake up, this is far from reality. At this young age we talk about true love. Love has now become so commercialized and casual that the true essence of this word has been lost.

Today anybody and everybody talks about true love. Just because your relationship has survived for more than a year does not make this true love. Words like commitment, faith, trust has all lost its meaning and have become casual words like “hi” and “what’s up”. Love is now put up on sale. Books are written on the various “How to” about relationships. But can we fall in love or maintain a relationship by reading a book? Is it really that simple?

I am not saying that true love does not exist nor am I saying that falling in love is bad. All I am saying is that love has become so overrated. People have lost faith in this charming and enchanting word. This is not anyone’s fault, there are various factors that have led to this situation today, from TV daily soaps, to reality shows, to movies, to books everywhere all you see is love stories. These stories just fascinate you and attract you, but they hold no value in reality.

We have forgotten the difference between love and infatuation, love and friendship, love and attraction. Whenever a girl or boy are seen chatting together why is it that the first question that pops in our mind is “Are they committed to each other?” Why do we presume these things, they can just be friends or they might even be siblings, for all you know. But we wouldn’t ever think about the logical side of this. We would always look at it from the so called “love angle”.

This happens not on our will. We never think before making statements like this, or making presumption about any two people. This happens due to our surroundings, what we see, what we read, what we hear, we subconsciously try to make it factual. This is also one of the reasons for short-lived relationships, I mean how long can you expect your boyfriend to treat you like a princess and give you gifts everyday or how long can you expect your girlfriend to be all head over heels for you. It’s time for a reality check.

There are some relationships that have worked, some which have not. There are some relations that have a future, some whose future is blank. There are some relations which are based on trust, understanding and mutual attraction, some are just for show-off.  It isn’t true there all relationships are mere pomp and show, some relationships are genuine, and I have been fortunate to see both the kinds of relationships in my close friend circle. When I look at some relationships I really wonder what the meaning of love or relationship for them is.

We all simply ignore the fact that love is not a term only given to the mutual liking and attraction between two people of opposite gender. Love can be of various forms. Isn’t it love, the feeling we have for our parents? Isn’t it love, the proximity and closeness we share with our brothers & sisters? Isn’t it love, the dedication and trust we have on our god?

Love is indeed the most beautiful feeling that mankind can experience, although it’s losing its charm. It will never lose its charm when you will genuinely fall in love with that perfect person made for you. Something like the match made in heaven. 

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TORN BETWEEN TWO LIVES!

The recent times have become such that we all are torn between two lives. At this young age we all want to go out there and have some crazy fun with our friends and experiment with various things. On the other hand, we have to be obedient and disciplined children to our parents also. Although, some of us are very smart who can handle both these lives with great confidence. While some of us, in order to live both lives, create a mess of their life. We all feel this but we have never really sat down and thought about it!

We all are indeed living a very challenging life. We have to go for a friend’s farmhouse party, also attend a family function, attend college, go to help our moms and dads in their office, and of course give time to our girlfriends/boyfriends!! We do all these activities with equal dedication and enthusiasm.

However, today I am writing here for those people who cannot express their feelings about their messed up and torn apart life.  It is about those people who want to go out with friends but also don’t want to hurt their parents. Our culture is rapidly changing and due to the age gap between us and our parents has made things complicated. We always say that our parents will never understand how we feel. But we fail to understand that no one knows us better than them. I agree that sometimes it becomes difficult to convince them about something, but eventually they will understand. On the other hand, there is no denying to the fact that if we don’t enjoy our life now then when will we?

Many times we take the support of lies in order to do what our parents would not agree for. But then why do we feel guilty of lying to them? We don’t want to hurt our parents, but also want to do those freaky things we would never be allowed to do. We humans are probably the strangest species walking on this earth. I mean we actually have the capacity to make simple things very complicated.

I am not saying that we shouldn’t have fun with friends, but we also need to understand the consequences of that fun on ourselves, our friends and most importantly our parents. The concerns of our parents are just to protect us, and it is very natural for them to get possessive about us. Instead of lying to them can we not sit with them and make them understand our intentions and assure them of our maturity.

I know it is easier said than done, but I have had personal experience, being a single child I was protected and equally pampered. There were many things that I was not allowed to do, which I wanted to. However when my parents thought it was the right time they let me do it. We all make mistakes and we all say lies to our parents at some point in our life, but it is always better to take the support of the truth even if the results of that is not as per our desire.

Being with friends and partying is surely not bad, there is no harm in it! The only thing is we should know when to stop. If we make a mistake, we must owe up to and not blame it on something like peer pressure. We all learn from our mistakes. Life is complicated. So party hard, go out with friends, but also spend time with you family and friends. Remember there is lot that your family has done for you, so may be its time to give them some happiness too!  

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Those who said "we will stay in touch"!

We make new friends at each and every stage of our life, but does that mean we leave behind those old friends. Whenever we depart, we do so on a note of "keeping in touch". But have we ever asked our selves how often we keep in touch. Today in the times of booming social networking, we surely are able to be on everyones friend lists, see their walls, see them on our chat - list! But how often do we go forward and write a simple "Hi" on their wall or send them a buzz on the chat. Lets say that with social networking we are sure that are friends are alive!! It may sound sarcastic, and very blunt, but deep down in your heart when you introspect do you think that there is any lie in this!

None of us are wise here. Not even me who is writing this blog. We all tend to make this big statement that "I am keeping busy these days so don't get time for keeping in touch." Are we really so busy that we cannot even leave a message on our friend's cell or FB wall. We not only take things, but also relationships for granted and that essentially is the reason for the fall out in most our relationships.

Why are we scared of relationships? We want to tie relationships to ourselves sometimes and sometimes leave it loose? Why?? There is no definite answer to this question. If we have the power to build a relationship, we also have the power to maintain it and take it further. When we make friends we do that with heart and sole, the times we are together we think as we are friends forever, then why is it that the moment we depart the thread starts to break?

We drift apart because we have expectations and that is a very nPreviewatural phenomenon. In any relationship we tend to have many expectations, and when these expectations are not fulfilled it hurts and that is the beginning or drifting apart. It is no way possible to not have expectations, but it is important to understand that the other person also has some expectations from you. You think that he/she has  not 'kept in touch', but have you ever made a genuine effort to stay in touch? Blaming others and cribbing about the circumstances is very easy! But having the courage to mend the broken relationships is what requires genuine efforts.

Why do we let relations break? Why don't we step forward and take the charge to mend the relationship? If our friend doesn't "keep in touch", we can keep in touch with them. We can call them, message them, or write them an email or post on their FB wall, this will not even take 2 mins. Can't we spare 2 mins of our entire day just to "keep in touch" with our friends. If we initiate it, maybe they will also respond.

I am no expert on this! But this is just something logical and sensible to do! Its never late to begin! So we begin now! Instead of crying over broken relationships, try to mend them, if may face failure and your heart may break, but at least you wouldn't regret in your life that you did not give chance to that relationship that could have healed!

FORGIVENESS IS THE BIGGEST HEALER! 

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